Don't Save Me
by XXforget-x-me-x-notXX
Summary: Can Butters stop Kenny from committing suicide? Or is it too late for Kenny? COMPLETE
1. A note

**Random and slightly pointless introduction: **Well, here's my second story. It took me a while. Sorry. Hey is anyone noticing a pattern ALREADY in my stories? I think I have an unhealthy interest in a certain something **cough cough**. Anyway, this chapter is told by Butters'. I might switch around the POV, if I feel like it. This chapter is really, really short, but I wanted it to end in as much of a cliffhanger as I could. To torture the readers. Mwahaha.

**Warning:** Suicidal themes. Don't like, don't read.

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I leaned against the school wall with Eric Cartman, Stan Marsh, and Kyle Broflovski. Kyle and Eric both had cigarettes in their mouths, but Stan and I don't smoke.

Kyle pinched his cigarette in between his index finger and his middle finger and pulled it out of his mouth. He frowned slowly while breathing out a puff of smoke. "Does anyone know where Kenny is?"

Stan and I shook our heads. Cartman just shrugged. "I wouldn't worry about it, Kyle, he's almost always late. His crappy motorcycle probably just broke down again."

Kyle sighed. "I'm not so much worried as annoying. God knows that Kenny can pull through just about any injury, but he just can't manage to pass his classes."

Stan stiffened abruptly. "Speaking of not passing, I never did that math homework... Butters, do you mind getting my math book from my locker? It's two to the right of Cartman's."

"No problem," I replied, a little nervous about going inside the school before classes start. I smiled and walked away quickly. I knew where Cartman's locker was, since I got his homework for him whenever he was sick. Sometimes when he would forget a book, and I would be staying after school, he'd call me and ask for me to get it for him.

I got to Cartman's locker, and there was a note sticking out of it. I know it's not right to snoop, but I couldn't help myself... I looked right and left before snatching it.

I looked around me again, before unfolding it carefully and quietly. It read:

_"Hey, Cartman,_

_Sorry you're the one that had to receive this. I guess ever since you told me I was your best friend in fourth grade, I guess it just stuck. Anyway, you're probably my closest friend anyway. So here goes. _

_I'm killing myself. No, this isn't a joke, and no, I won't come back. You see, all those times I died, Satan would always ask me if I wanted to go back. I always said yes, I loved life, why wouldn't I want to live? _

_Well, this time I'll say no. Cartman, I hate my life. I refuse to spend my time moping and cutting my wrists. I'm not that kind of person, and you should know. I'll skip the drama, and I'll leave now. Everyone knew that I would never amount to anything. So why even pretend to try?_

_I'll see you eventually, Cartman, if we go to the same place. I want you to know that I honestly liked you, as a person. You were a good friend, most of the time. It's not easy for me to write this, Cartman, but I'll miss you. Really. _

_Tell Kyle, Stan, Butters and Tweek to not be sad. Hey, you can put down an animal to put it out of it's misery, right? I should probably say something poetic, you know, a "last words" kind of thing. Sorry, I just refuse to try to write a suicide letter (it feels weird writing that) that's TRYING to make someone cry. _

_I guess this is goodbye. You probably either already heard a gunshot, or you're about to. Go straight to the science room on the second floor. That's where my dead body will be._

_Say bye to everyone for me, Cartman. _

_Kenny"_

My eyes widened. I dropped the letter on the floor and ran as fast as I could up the stairs, toward the science room.


	2. It isn't worth it, Kenny

**Random and slightly pointless introduction: **So this is another really short chapter. Sue me. I've been having writer's block, so it took a while to upload. Wimpy chapter. Yay. Hmm, I think I just might have an unhealthy interest in suicide... Next story, I promise, will be happy and bubbly. Or at least no suicide.

**Warning: **Suicidal themes. Don't like, don't read.

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I threw open the door. "Kenny!" I shouted.

He spun around. His shotgun was aimed at my head. Kenny had tears streaming down his cheeks as his hand shook. "What are you doing here, Butters?" he spat.

I stared at his shotgun. "I-I..."

He laughed coldly and without humor. "You saw the letter... Instead of Cartman..."

I looked up into his sad blue eyes with a pleading look. "You don't have to kill yourself, Kenny, please don't do it..."

He narrowed his distant, gleaming eyes at me. "Why not? Because you'll _miss me_? Because I have my whole life ahead of me?" His voice had a cold, mocking tone.

I looked at my feet. I didn't have anything to say to that.

"You don't know anything about me, Butters. You don't know anything about my life. Honestly, I don't give a damn if anyone misses me. And about having my whole life ahead of me... I know exactly where I'm going if I don't die now," Kenny continued icily. "I'm not smart, Butters. I know I'm not. I don't plan on marrying some rich bitch, either. So, in short, I'll become my dad. That's one thing I _don't _plan on doing."

"You're nothing like your dad, Kenny! You won't become him, I know you won't!" I insisted hopelessly. "Put down the gun, Kenny, I can help you..."

"I don't want help," he almost growled. "And I don't need it."

My vision clouded with tears. "Kenny, you can't just give up..."

He drew a hand up to his face and covered it, I guessed to hide the tears. "And why not, Butters?"

I looked down and shook my head slowly, my breathing becoming uneven, from trying to keep from sobbing. "Because it isn't worth it, Kenny..." I whispered.

His electric blue eyes narrowed. "What do you mean?"

I looking back up as the tears streamed down and hit the floor. "Taking away the pain isn't worth it."

"Isn't worth _what?_" he hissed.

"It isn't worth missing out. The thing is, you _don't _know what's ahead of you. You say you'll become your dad, but you don't know! You just don't, and you can't know unless you figure it out yourself!" I cried.

The gun clicked, but it wasn't aimed at me anymore. "That little speech might've worked on Stan or Kyle. Hell, maybe even Cartman. But not me."

I stared at him, drenched in tears, completely helpless.


	3. Not so happy ending

**Random and slightly pointless introduction: **Oh, I'm so mean. I apologize for my very, very not fluffy or happy ending. I'm a morbid person. Deal with it. I hope I didn't fail at this story. Sorry it took so long to update. I had a really, really bad case of writers block. Plus, I'm writing ten stories all at the same time. I kind of forgot about this one.

**Warning: **Oh, you'll see.

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I watched helplessly. A shot rang through the school, and I screamed. Blood was everywhere. I even had a few drops scattered on my clothing. All I could do was stare at Kenny lying on the floor, dead. I screamed, I cried. I hardly noticed when people came in. A few teachers and confused students walked in.

Tweek and Token ran out of the room in a panic, Craig fainted, Stan threw up... It was a disaster. And I had seen him do it. I know I could've stopped him... If only I had tried harder... I could've convinced him not to... It's all my fault... If someone else had seen the letter, Kenny would still be here, alive... If Kyle, or Clyde, or even Cartman had seen the letter instead of me, one of them could've saved him... But not me. Kenny was dead and it was my fault.

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_Years later_

I woke up, sweating, with tears streaming down my face. It was always the same dream, every night. That image of Kenny, lying down on the cold, hard floor, bleeding from his head... I just couldn't get that image out of my head... Years after, and I still wasn't over it...

I glanced at my clock. Three forty-one in the morning. I groaned and walked to my bathroom, pulling out all the medicine my psychiatrist has prescribed to me.

I swallowed every last pill. I walked back to my bed and laid down, calmly going back to sleep. I knew I wouldn't wake up in the morning morning.


End file.
